If the eyes are the window to the soul, then the beard is the hedge maze to the heart.
Some men play it safe. Others go hog wild. But the beard can say a surprising amount about the man who wears it, and we think we can figure it out.
Here’s what your beard style says about your personality.
The Adult Man
You’re an adult man, honestly. Just look at this beard!
For some men, the beard is a purely practical affectation. It covers the shame of your babyface and tries to convince others that you are, in fact, a Grown Up.
You probably keep it close to stubble or otherwise keep it short and neat. You don’t need to go crazy, here. This is a beard on a mission, with no time to play around. This is the beard equivalent of a shirt and tie, bringing the man out of the boy.
The Urban Viking
Maybe you don’t remember the last time you raided a monastery, and you probably dress nicer than any Viking ever did. Still, your full yet shapely beard tells everyone who needs to know that you are, definitely, a Manly Man.
You probably combine your beard with some on-point personal grooming, indulging in beard oils, neat haircuts, and fitted clothes. Don’t think that takes away from your manly image, though, as the modern man believes in grooming just as the Vikings did.
The Time Traveler
A science teacher’s soup-catcher or an adult star’s downstairs tickler? Either way, a big, bold mustache, without the backup of a beard, tells people that you aren’t afraid to throw it back to another era.
The new millennium has belonged to the beard so far, but everything is cyclical. Your lonely caterpillar may not be the hippest of the hip, but you know that you’ll be ahead of the times when they change—and change they will.
We all know that one guy. He seems to rock a different beard every day. Sometimes he’ll shave for a total reset, only to show up the next day with a lumberjack’s best friend. If that’s you, we don’t know how you do it.
But we do know that you’re a chameleon. Maybe you follow the fashion to the minute or you’re the one shaping it—you’re always so on-trend that we can never tell.
No, not that joker. You’re the guy who grows a mustache and goes for the full handlebar. Or you’ll cosplay it for a laugh. Whatever look you go for, it’s for maximum comic effect, and everyone knows it.
It takes courage to make yourself the butt of a joke, though. We all wish we could be so daring.
The Beard Style Makes the Man
This is all in good fun, of course, but you can tell a surprising amount about a gentleman from the way he styles his beard. That’ll make you think twice the next time you look in the mirror.
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